My Muse Is Back (For Good, I Hope)

November 23, 2008

I’m actually ashamed to admit that I still don’t know my muse that well. I don’t know if it’s a he, a she or an it. I haven’t thought hard about that yet, what my muse really looks like if I were to visualize he/she/it. Or maybe it’s a sexless creature. I don’t know yet for sure. You see, for as long as I can remember, my muse ran away, sucking me dry of all my creative juices. I chased it, but to no avail. He/she/it wouldn’t give me back my juices, wouldn’t give me an inspiration. For months I have begged him/her/it to come back, but like me, he/she/it was stubborn. I couldn’t write a decent vignette, and if I did try to write one, I’d hear him/her/it laugh in a distance and tell me how the piece sucked big time. He/she/it never really gave me a hint on when he/she/it planned to come back. Eventually I stopped chasing him/her/it and stopped expecting his/her/its return.

Then last night happened. I slept early, around 9:00. I wasn’t in the mood to stay up late to watch TV or read a book or work or study. Around 10:30 or so, I was woken up by the itchy mosquito bites on my legs and feet. I haven’t put my blanket on because it was a bit humid even though I had the electric fan on. I tried not to scratch the bites but they were killing me. And then out of nowhere, a poem (or a vignette) popped into my head. Like my muse was waiting, hiding somewhere and then when I least expected it threw a solid snowball to my head. I was so anxious to write it down, but I really am not a night person - early mornings are the best time for me to write. I thought I’d just get some sleep and write it down in the morning.

But my muse kept on hounding on me to get a pen and paper or to turn on my computer and let the thoughts flow. I didn’t. I tried to sleep, but he/she/it gave me a hard time. It’s as if he/she/it were saying hey, I’m back. Don’t you want to do this? Why are you ignoring me now? I thought you’d be happy to see me. Yes, but not in the middle of the night. You’ve been gone a long time that you forgot I’m not a night person. I shrugged him/her/it off and tried to sleep. I think it was already past 12 midnight when he/she/it finally let me sleep.

I woke up early this morning. The sun wasn’t up yet and I was fired up. I turned on my computer and I typed. Since the product is too personal, I’m not going to post it here. But I’m happy that my muse is back.