Intuition

June 10, 2010

I’m a big believer of intuition or what others would call gut feeling, that red light that goes on when you know you’re about to plunge into a shitty or dangerous situation. Intuition is as ancient as mankind itself. And I believe that with the educational system focusing more on training and nurturing the left side of the brain, this important key to our survival is being eroded as our brain gets used to logical, thoughtful thinking instead of split-second decision making. I’m not used to following my gut, as I have been trained to think things through, especially life-changing stuff. So when I’m confronted with a situation where I just know in the pit of my stomach exactly what is whatever it is, I’m torn between following this nagging feeling or thinking it over before taking action.

One such situation happened this morning. I got on a jeepney that was waiting for passengers at the side of the main road. When the jeepney was almost full, the driver stepped on the gas pedal and we were off. A few meters away, he saw a guy standing, probably waiting for a jeepney, and the driver stopped and shouted to the man the jeepney’s route and waited if he’d get on. The man just looked inside, and then got on. He sat opposite me, and the minute he sat down, a creepy feeling washed over me. It’s like getting mugged all over again. Flashbacks of that fateful October morning bombarded my mind, and I started to panic in my head. My first instinct was to get off the jeepney immediately. My gut was telling me to get the hell out of there.

At first blush, what I felt would seem irrational, probably just a PTSD-like reaction because of my previous experience of getting mugged. I took a deep breath, looked away and just hoped the man would get off the jeepney, that his destination wasn’t far. My prayer was answered - the man’s destination wasn’t that far. He blurted out a rather abrupt para and hurriedly got off the jeepney. After the man got off, some men in the jeepney alerted a lady that one of her belongings was taken away by the man who just got off. The lady panicked, asking the passengers why we didn’t say or do anything. She got off the jeepney with her companion, hoping they’d be able to find the man who took away their belongings. It all happened so fast. I didn’t even notice he was able to get away with the lady’s belongings. I’m lucky he didn’t sit beside me. But he wouldn’t be able to take away my bag that easily anyway. I had the strap wrapped around my arm, and if ever he tried to take it away from me, he’d probably rip off my arm as well.

I couldn’t believe what just happened. It’s freaky but at the same time enlightening. But sometimes it’s hard to discern whether it’s a genuine gut feeling or just paranoia. In this case, I shouldn’t have ignored my intuition. I should have gotten off that jeepney and rode the next one instead. I was lucky I wasn’t the target. Also, I bet the man was emitting so much negative energy that I immediately picked it up. And I wasn’t even paying that much attention! Imagine if I was a hundred percent alert. I probably would have screamed my head off. It’s an ugly, ugly feeling, like a black fog was surrounding his whole being.

After getting mugged last year, I am more careful now when I commute. I never let my guard down, always keeping my belongings secure, always observing the people around me. No, I’m not psychic. Maybe I just got better at reading people’s non-verbal communication and body language that I am learning to anticipate situations such as this. I learned a very important lesson today - I will never doubt and ignore my gut feeling again.